tired of being single

I wish that I could find a healthy and sane, yet interesting relationship with someone. I am tired of being drained by shitty relationships. I want something real, but I am not willing to compromise myself anymore. However, it really sucks being single. I have needs that aren't being met and it pisses me off.

a lazy day here in Austin

I went to the store earlier to cash my check so I can pay rent and I bought some stuff to make farfalle (bow-tie pasta) alfredo.  I tried to activate my VISA card but my cell phone died on me, so I have to wait til later when I can borrow S's phone.

I don't feel like doing much else today.  I should work on the article that I am writing, but I am just not feelin' it today.  I'm not in a bad mood, but I am not particularly motivated today.  I'm just going to sit here and listen to country.

feminist quotes that I dig

The emotional, sexual, and psychological stereotyping of females begins when the doctor says, "It's a girl." ~Shirley Chisholm

Women are the only oppressed group in our society that lives in intimate association with their oppressors. ~Evelyn Cunningham

Feminism is the radical notion that women are people. ~Cheris Kramarae and Paula Treichler

There is a special place in hell for women who do not help other women. ~Madeleine K. Albright

Every time we liberate a woman, we liberate a man. ~Margaret Mead

got back from my trip

I am now back in Austin after being gone for two weeks.  One week I was in Denton and this past week I was in Houston.  I came back so emotionally drained after dealing with family stuff in H-town.  The ex is slipping into madness, I fear, and there is nothing I can do about it.

I am still hoping to be able to go to the Race, Poverty, and Media Justice program at POOR Magazine this summer.  I got invited to go, but I have to work out housing arrangements so I can make it happen.  Going to the program could really help my writing career. 

Buddhist encouragement for today

From Buddhism Day by Day

The struggle we go through to have our prayers answered makes us stronger. If we were to immediately get everything we prayed for, we would become spoiled and decadent. We would lead indolent lives, devoid of any hard work or struggle. As a result, we would become shallow human beings. What, then, would be the point of faith?

got a message from the ex today

My ex-husband sent me a Facebook message today:

I guess you're rich after divorcing me. Enjoy the money.

I responded:

What money?

I wish that I did have more money, but I also wish that he could have more money.

I hope that he can find a doctor that can help him with the mental illness.  Speaking of that, I am also going to change doctors, because my doctor sucks.

my friend's blog

My friend Michael has a blog where he posts stuff about politics, football, and other stuff.  I don't understand all the football stuff, but he does a good job of explaining it.

Michael's Rant

on being bisexual

According to a friend of mine, I am the most "out of the closet" person he knows. I am out and proud about my bisexuality. I wish that the more of my straight friends were supportive. It seems that they just think of it as something trendy and sexy as opposed to a valid sexual orientation.

One straight male friend of mine called me a "non-practicing bisexual" and asked me the other day if I "still liked chicks"---ooh, that pisses me off. I don't think that my bisexuality depends on who I am dating. I am attracted to people, not gender. Another friend of mine made a shitty comment regarding my date with a trans woman last month, "Gee, Stacey, she's not REALLY a woman." I wish that people would keep their shitty comments to themselves. I like whom I like, and it shouldn't matter to anyone else, as long as I am happy.

it's 4 am and I can't sleep...

...so I am listening to my playlist of 70s classic rock and alternative country. I'm drinking a Dr. Pepper, which isn't the greatest thing at 4 am. I went to sleep pretty early last night after trying to watch some anime.

I am going to the Buddhist Center again to make more pompoms. Last night my pompom attempt was foiled due to a lack of appropriate scissors, so I've got to find a pair of them around here that actually work, because I need to catch up.

Michiko is going to bring my phone today when she picks me up. I am so excited about getting a cell phone that actually works. I am probably going to call Jim tonight, but I can't talk to him for a long time. I miss him and I wish that he didn't live in freaking Oklahoma. I'm probably also going to call Michael. I can't wait to see him and all of my other DFW friends in a couple of weeks. I love my Austin friends, but I seem to have a real connection with my friends from the Metroplex.

I feel sort of sad right now, but nothing is happening right now to cause me to feel sad. Things in my life are starting to look up for the first time in a long time. Maybe it's the music that is causing me to feel all down. so I will change it to something happier. Oh yeah, I did forget my medication last night, maybe that has something to do with it.

making 600 pompoms...and other rambling thoughts

I signed up to help my friends Alice and Michiko make 600 pompoms for the Buddhist Culture Festival this weekend. Ack! I hope that we can finish them in time.

Today I went to Half Price Books and placed a bunch of books on hold until next week, so I won't be tempted to spend any more money than $20...like I did last month, when I spent $100 on books.

I need to go and do laundry, but Scott isn't home yet, so probably it won't happen til tomorrow. I hate doing it, but I am totally out of jeans to wear, so I have to do it.

I am cooking pasta alfredo for dinner.

watching basketball right now on the Internet.

I am thinking about what I want to do with my life....

a little bit about me...

My name is Stacey "Miss Anastacia" Langley and this is my blog. I've been online since 1996 in one form or another...

I was born on February 8, 1973, a rare snow day in Houston, Texas, to a fourteen year old from Arkansas, and was adopted by my parents at five days old. My brother is three years younger than I am, and he is my parents' biological child.

I learned to read before the age of three, and was reading mysteries by kindergarten. I could tell you about the economies of obscure Third-World nations in first grade. I attended Magnet schools in Houston---Longfellow Elementary (creative and performing arts), Pershing Middle School (Pre-International Baccalaureate Program), and the High School for Law Enforcement and Criminal Justice (law/legal skills). I graduated from Bellaire High School in 1991, after being in the Foreign Language Program (I studied three years of Spanish and two years of French).

I was a geek in high school, but it was cool to be a geek at Bellaire. I was friends with people of all social groups, but most of my friends were in the Science Fiction club (which is funny considering I HATE most science fiction.)

I attended Houston Community College for a year after high school, majoring in art history. I also attended the University of Texas at Austin for a semester. Since then, I have been on the "extended plan" for school. I have attended Texas State Technical College in Waco (commercial art and advertising) and I am attending Austin Community College now, majoring in art and political science. My goal is to transfer to a university before the age of 40, but I have no idea which school that is going to be right now.

I worked as a legal secretary for 10 years before I became disabled from bipolar disorder. Now I give my free time to community organizations.

I identify as a feminist, a bisexual lesbian, and as femme. I've been active in the queer and feminist communities for 20 years, but I am new to the femme community.

I have a 14 year old daughter and I was married for six years.

I am an artist that specializes in abstract paintings using acrylics and mixed media. My paintings have been shown in Austin and Albuquerque, New Mexico.

I am also a writer and I have been published in POOR Magazine, from San Francisco. I hope to attend their Media Justice program this fall.